Its true.

Sometimes, my heart feels so much-

it does not know what exactly it is feeling.

Or so I think. We always know what we are feeling..

but it is a matter of having the courage to accept it.

Face it to feel it.

Feel it to live.

-N

"Somtimes...

...the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

Summer has Fallen away.

I must say, I had quite a productive summer.

Graduate from FIDM: CHECK

Graduate from Meisner: CHECK

Move to Hermosa Beach: CHECK

Get a waitressing job: CHECK

Save some money:......check? ..hahah

Now...for the Fall......

Get a nannying job: CHECK!

Next on the list are:

+Get a part time job at a floral shop (I'm such a girl).

+Get headshots with Matt.

+Go out on auditions.

+Buy a long board and learn how to long board.

+Save more money.

So Posh.

Former spice girl turned fashion designer- Victoria Beckham has proven herself to be one fashion maven to follow. I personally am obsessed with her. Thats just me though. I have followed her since I was in the 5th grade collecting every album, doll, poster, memorizing and singing every lyric including "if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends."

One morning "The View" was on my t.v. and Victoria happened to be the special guest promoting her dress collection. Of course they put on a mini runway show and you know what- objectively speaking- it was quite a splendid collection.

Her taste is refined and fun. The epitome of class. The textiles are smart and her play with drapery and zippers are creative and far too charming.

I would love to get my hands on one of her dresses! Definitely timeless pieces to hold onto forever.

Check out her website to view the entire collection. There is no justice to the beauty, elegance and charm of this collection when viewed online, but I guess that is as close as we'll ever get to one of those babies.

www.victoriabeckham.com

-N

HB here I come.

This will be my new home in 2 weeks.

Hermosa Beach.

Photo: Nathalie Tan

So many changes are occuring and all within 2 months.

Graduating from Meisner, graduating from FIDM, moving.

Its all very overwhelming but in a very wonderful way!

These changes and transitions are what make life beautiful.

I am so excited to waitress (hopefully- still on the hunt) and beginning my acting career.

I am ready to take on more responsibilities of life and of becoming an adult.

I am ready to wake up in the morning to the ocean and go for a run!

I am ready to probably struggle a bit financially.

I am ready for the successes and failures of this journey in developing my career.

I am ready for new friendships.

I am ready for it all!!

It'll be a tough but happy, courageous, strengthening, powerful, wonderful and silly road :)

It'll be so worth it.

Heres to:

A new chapter.

A new beginning.

-N

Joy.

This past Sunday, I checked out a new church called Hope Chapel Christian Church in Hermosa Beach. It was actually quite wonderful and I was very impressed with the pastor. I am trying to find a home church and this one is a huge possibility!

Anyway, the experience was undeniably refreshing and so was the sermon. It was about prayer. Nothing crazy and out of the box..simple- but powerful. It reminded me how truly powerful and necessary prayer is. Also, now necessary it is to have a relationship with God.

We cannot do this on our own. We need Him. To be faithful, committed and have a loving, passionate, deep and unending relationship with God-so necessary. I have been praying a lot more in the last month, rekindling my relationship with Him. It has been amazing. How funny is it that when you choose to distance yourself from Him and decide you can go through this crazy thing called life on your own- it comes crashing down. No matter how "spiritual" or "happy" or "organized and well planned" you are or how many "good thoughts" you think and try to put in yourself and in the world- it never works! It never works and if it somewhat does- it is false. It is being held together by the stickiness of the world and not the UNFAILING "super glue" - if you will- of GOD. Nothing else will give you the JOY you feel when things are of God, held by God, given by God.

So pray, tell him, ask him....have a relationship with him! :)

You are valid.

What a night. Seriously..wow.

On my way home from hermosa, I had an incredible yet simple realization...more of a reminder.... I am valid.

To whoever is reading this, I want you to know what ever you feel is okay. Dont try to say or be anything you are not. Often times, we look back on past moments and conversations..and we wish it went differently. We wish we were stronger, bolder, or softer. No, please dont wish anything differently because what ever you felt and said in that moment was true. Your truth. Dont wish your truth away. It does not matter what society says or thinks about how you should be in a given situation. When you speak from your heart its valid because your heart is you and you are valid.

Thoughts run through my head...gosh I said too much, I was too nice, I was unclear, I should have been colder here, I should have been sweeter in that moment though...NO NO NO...Dont do that to yourself. Dont torture yourself because I have learned, whatever I said, its my true self, unplanned, unrestricted...whatever they gave me, I responded and that response is legitimate no matter what it was. ahhhh blabbbing.