Why oh why.

I have a question. Why don't we listen to our hearts? Or is it the other way around- do we not listen to our heads rather?

In the end, we need to listen to our instincts. Both our hearts and our heads have it- I believe. I often times will question what I feel because I get so caught up in trying to decipher whether my thoughts and my feelings are derived from my heart or my head. I do this because one is more valid than the other to me. Not sure why. I forget that whatever it is, its there. Its there for a reason, so listen to it. It doesn't matter where it comes from.

When you go against it, things fail.

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Stuck in a place between yes, maybe and no.

Sooner or later one must let go.

How hard must we push at this,

how lightly should we pull back.

Its all a hit or miss

and theres no plan of attack.

Words without reason.

Speaking without needing.

And in the end,

two hearts are wearing down,

because its not pretend.

Not one, but two to mend.

In the madness it makes no sense,

but this is what you want isnt it,

so be content.

Its true.

Sometimes, my heart feels so much-

it does not know what exactly it is feeling.

Or so I think. We always know what we are feeling..

but it is a matter of having the courage to accept it.

Face it to feel it.

Feel it to live.

-N

"Somtimes...

...the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

Summer has Fallen away.

I must say, I had quite a productive summer.

Graduate from FIDM: CHECK

Graduate from Meisner: CHECK

Move to Hermosa Beach: CHECK

Get a waitressing job: CHECK

Save some money:......check? ..hahah

Now...for the Fall......

Get a nannying job: CHECK!

Next on the list are:

+Get a part time job at a floral shop (I'm such a girl).

+Get headshots with Matt.

+Go out on auditions.

+Buy a long board and learn how to long board.

+Save more money.

So Posh.

Former spice girl turned fashion designer- Victoria Beckham has proven herself to be one fashion maven to follow. I personally am obsessed with her. Thats just me though. I have followed her since I was in the 5th grade collecting every album, doll, poster, memorizing and singing every lyric including "if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends."

One morning "The View" was on my t.v. and Victoria happened to be the special guest promoting her dress collection. Of course they put on a mini runway show and you know what- objectively speaking- it was quite a splendid collection.

Her taste is refined and fun. The epitome of class. The textiles are smart and her play with drapery and zippers are creative and far too charming.

I would love to get my hands on one of her dresses! Definitely timeless pieces to hold onto forever.

Check out her website to view the entire collection. There is no justice to the beauty, elegance and charm of this collection when viewed online, but I guess that is as close as we'll ever get to one of those babies.

www.victoriabeckham.com

-N

HB here I come.

This will be my new home in 2 weeks.

Hermosa Beach.

Photo: Nathalie Tan

So many changes are occuring and all within 2 months.

Graduating from Meisner, graduating from FIDM, moving.

Its all very overwhelming but in a very wonderful way!

These changes and transitions are what make life beautiful.

I am so excited to waitress (hopefully- still on the hunt) and beginning my acting career.

I am ready to take on more responsibilities of life and of becoming an adult.

I am ready to wake up in the morning to the ocean and go for a run!

I am ready to probably struggle a bit financially.

I am ready for the successes and failures of this journey in developing my career.

I am ready for new friendships.

I am ready for it all!!

It'll be a tough but happy, courageous, strengthening, powerful, wonderful and silly road :)

It'll be so worth it.

Heres to:

A new chapter.

A new beginning.

-N