Jim Morrison is cool.

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” -JIM MORRISON

I read this today and loved it. Its something I've always believed in and Jim articulated my thoughts quite perfectly. It's a little morbid, but I feel there's a lot of truth to it. His quote really spoke to me in this moment though because of some things I am currently going through. Not a big surprise, as I am always sharing my thoughts and what I feel is apparent most of the time, whether it be on facebook or my blog (if not in person, in which case, you will always know how I am feeling because it is almost impossible for me to hide).

I am usually a very positive and upbeat person. I will find a silver lining in everything because I truly believe one always exists. The obstacles I have managed to over come in my life, are ones you would never imagine a girl like me to ever encounter. But I have, I did and will continue to face challenges and more importantly, learn lessons. Right now, I am at a sad place. Its very new so it's burning heavily. I really haven't felt this hurt in a long while. I have been sad and down, been disappointed, everything in between. But this kind of hurt, and heartache? It's been awhile. Because of that, this feeling is more...raw. Does that make sense at all? Honestly, I have been crying for the last few days (although today was a better day, thank God). Does that make me weak? No. The ones closest to me can attest to my mental and emotional strength-my ability to persevere. For a moment though, I did feel weak.

Well of course, this quote reminded me that I am not weak for feeling the way I do because I am simply facing my reality (as stated in the quote). Wouldn't it be a lie to pretend it was okay, I was okay? I could easily give myself a pep talk, bring out my rays of sunshine and be POSITIVE. TA-DA! It would be a false reality though and it'd only be a facade put on for momentary relief. I have never chosen to live my life that way, and I'm not starting now. I have tattooed on my body, "Live Truthfully." How untruthful would that be? I am aware that it is unhealthy to dwell and sulk in sadness. Thats not what I'm saying should be done. Just allow yourself those moments. That's all. Without feeling pain, how do you truly appreciate the opposite- love. If you don't let yourself feel these types of things, and you choose to disregard them or conceal them, you disregard yourself. You are telling yourself you are not valid. The thing is, you are. So accept how you feel and let them run through you. I believe in these times of honesty (feeling), you discover the most vital and profound things about who you are and your heart. When you are being real, you discover real things. When you are untruthful with others, doesn't it hurt them?..You hurt them, indeed. What do you think happens when you are untruthful with yourself?

That sort of brought me to how I "carry it." Remember, it's a choice to feel or not feel. So I will choose to feel this for a bit as it is necessary. But, I have hope, faith and courage and little by little, I will be able to pick myself up. During this process, I will choose to heal. I understand there is a process. I'm going with it, trusting it. But I am going with it with the purpose of moving on and the intent to heal and overcome. --Carry it in an honest and healthy way. Find that balance.

Its one day at a time. Each day is a new day. Live it with your eyes open and heart present.

Be true.